How To Be Positive All The Time
How To Be Positive All The Time – It’s good to be positive and people usually always try to be positive or look good. People feel good through their thoughts or behaviors. It is part of human nature.
However, is it realistic to always be positive when faced with negative events in life? To answer this question, we need to understand what positivity is and what it means.
How To Be Positive All The Time
Carl Rogers, a humanistic psychologist, said that people want to feel and behave in ways that are consistent with their self-image (how they see themselves) and their ideal self (which is the best version of themselves). . The closer their self-image is to their ideal self, the more fit they are and the higher their sense of self-worth. It becomes difficult to maintain unanimity when one abandons one’s true self. For example, if a boy is expected to be strong and fearless and not cry that he has to be tougher than a girl, he learns to suppress his sadness and fear. As he matured as a person, although he experienced sadness and fear, he did not learn ways to manage them other than continuing to repress them because these feelings were unacceptable to him. This creates a split between one’s true self and one’s self-image and ideal self. Detachment as a defense weakens the individual’s self-esteem, which inevitably impairs personal and social functioning.
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Carl Rogers also said that a person whose self-image does not match their true feelings and experiences will defend themselves because the truth hurts. For example, if this child cannot hold back tears because of sadness, they feel guilty and ashamed because they believe they have done something wrong. Guilt and shame are emotions that shield him from his primary emotion, in this case sadness. She feels wrong for crying, not because she is sad. To avoid feelings of guilt and shame, he may use defense mechanisms such as denial or suppression of grief to feel less threatened.
Carl Rogers believed that people should be treated positively by others, that they should be valued, respected, and treated with love and affection. Rogers made a distinction between unconditional positivity and conditional positivity.
Unconditional positive respect is loving and accepting a person as they are. The recipient of unconditional positive regard does not require the recipient to do anything to justify the offer. No favors are required of the receiver, he doesn’t have to be perfect or right all the time, just accept. If someone does something wrong or makes a mistake, the positive attitude is definitely not taken away.
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On the other hand, conditional positive attitude is given only when the receiver behaves as expected. If a person does something to get the approval and appreciation of others without dealing with his true feelings, he becomes a non-conforming person.
When a non-conformist pays too much attention to how others respond to their behavior, their ideal self is shaped by a value position – they try to be what others want them to be. In this way, they lose their self-esteem due to the discrepancy between their true self and their self-image (who they think they are, not who they really are). When their ideal self is measured against societal expectations, it creates a sense that they are “never good enough” because they cannot please everyone. This feeling of inferiority can hinder self-actualization. Carl Rogers believed that people have a basic motivation, which is the tendency towards self-actualization, such as realizing one’s potential and achieving the highest level of “humanity”. He also believed that for a person to achieve self-realization, he must be in a state of coincidence. This means that self-actualization occurs when a person’s ideal self (who they want to be) matches their self-image (actual behavior or how they perceive themselves).
To enhance concordance and achieve self-actualization, a person must learn to replace self-acceptance and dependence on value conditions with an unconditionally positive attitude. Acceptance is accepting who they are, and also accepting what they feel or think about themselves. According to Rogers, having at least one relationship in which they are fully accepted and supported no matter what they do, think, or feel helps create a state of identity.
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The Danger Of Being Positive All The Time
When they experience negative emotions, they become familiar with and know how to react to those emotions. Negative or positive emotions are equally important. To achieve a balanced perspective and identity in life, people need to learn and experience. Emotions are never wrong, they are value neutral. Rather than evaluating the emotion, the focus should be on evaluating the appropriateness of how the emotion is expressed. For example, laughing at someone’s funeral is offensive and socially inappropriate. Expressed emotion must be mediated by sensitivity.
Being positive doesn’t always mean feeling positive emotions or thinking positive thoughts all the time. It is about applying an unconditional positive attitude to ourselves and others. Acceptance of events in life. positive or negative, live with it and learn from it. This creates a balance and harmony between the self-image and the ideal self in our lives.
Negative emotion is not bad. We need to know what negative emotion is and how to manage it properly so that we can accept it and live with it.
Knowing what we feel is a great blessing, as many people struggle to learn and understand what they feel. Before we learn what to feel, we need to know that negative emotions are not bad and that it is normal to feel them. Once we develop this awareness, we become more comfortable dealing with negative emotions. Self-awareness can lead us to dig deeper into our emotions to discover the cause of those negative feelings.
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Once you understand the causes of these negative emotions, acceptance is the next step in dealing with them. Acknowledging these feelings can lead to self-compassion and a better understanding of them. This self-compassion increases tolerance for negative emotions, as we have learned that they are temporary.
Once we receive the feelings, we need to acknowledge and honor them. We can feel these emotions, but we are careful not to let them define us. For example, we can admit that we feel worthless in a certain situation, but we don’t allow ourselves to admit that we are a worthless person.
Negative emotions help us face reality. For example, fear and anxiety indicate the need to develop self-defense. McGonigal shows us that dealing with stress with kindness turns it into something that improves our health instead of harming it. Those who accept stress as the body’s natural response to challenge are more resilient and live longer than those who struggle to deal with it (Goleman et al., 2018).
Once we understand, accept, acknowledge and examine our negative emotions, we can choose our next step, what to do and how to respond appropriately to such situations. The degree of emotional intensity can be low, medium or high depending on the situation. We can make brief interventions to reduce our positive or negative emotions so that our emotions are not too intense. In short, when we learn how to regulate our emotions and act accordingly, we have better balance and alignment between what we think (mind), what we feel (emotions), and what we do (actions).
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We feel emotions all the time and the intensity of our emotions is unpredictable. Sometimes it can take a lot of processing and it can mean that there is something deeper that needs to be revealed. Annie McKee (Goleman et al., 2018) warned that negative emotions are also contagious and almost always destructive if left unchecked and unchecked. It is normal to experience negative emotions in many situations and at different intensities, but repeatedly experiencing negative emotions in a situation may be a sign that we need help.
Annie McKee (Goleman et al., 2018) argued that these are not simply negative emotions. Very strong positive emotions can have the same effect. Some studies show that too much happiness can make you less creative (psychologist Barbara Fredrickson found that too much positive emotion makes people less resilient to new challenges) and more prone to risky behaviors (like drinking too much alcohol, using drugs, or alcohol) . nutrition).
If you feel that strong emotions are disrupting your life, interfering with your daily work, or causing problems in your relationships, talk to a therapist, counselor, or psychologist for help.
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